Race horse or Wild horse

Have you ever heard or saw something that seemed OK for the first few moments but something inside you warns you that something is off but you just let it pass by uncommented?

Today I heard somebody talking about emotions and that we should not control / alter the way we feel because it would be untrue to our hearts.  Most people ”specially romantic people that put allot of thought in that kind of stuff“ without much thought or hesitation would tend to agree with this statement. At that time, I didn’t comment in agreement or disagreement because I simply wasn’t comfortable yet I had no good reason to object.

Several hours later in the evening after completely forgetting about the whole thing I felt God leading me back to that statement giving me a vision of 2 horses; a race horse and a wild horse. I heard God in my heart asking me, which one in this situation would you rather be? A wild horse or a race horse??

For some reason his voice was clear…a race horse!…..because a race horse reaches his destination, has a goal, is focused, is dedicated, and allocates every muscle and thought to winning the race. On the other hand, a wild horse is confused, random, is not guaranteed to reach anywhere and will most likely cause his rider to fall!

How does this relate to controlling how we feel? I believe we can still be open and pour out our hearts while being true if we control which direction it sprints, just like a race horse after being trained.

Some would argue that not knowing where you end could be adventurous and fun. I say if I know that I’m a winner I can put in my all and enjoy the adventure along the way with the guarantee of winning.

Choose to travel a road that you are called to, do not a settle for a random road, it’s a waste of time!

So lame..

Today on my way to work on the high way in the car my CD player was screaming Darlene Zschech’s version of Agnus Dei.
If you want a song that can remind you how truely holy and worthy is the God we worship, this is it!
It’s December 30th, so I was reflecting on this past year, trying to think what I needed to work on in 2009. Of course with a song like that playing I 
couldn’t help but envision me changing the world in 2009 and thinking it was as easy as listening to a good song and just dreaming & believing it was that simple!

All that was just great, until some car just totally cut me off & I had to slam my breaks driving 70mph barely rescuing my front left fenders from
being crushed….

…It’s SCARY how fast everything that was going on inside me just evaporated, disappeared, just vanished!
The only thought I can think of is that I needed to catch up with that car. I would then give them this scary
look making myself look as mean as possible! Get them to think they just cut off the scariest serial killer in town! My look would then
penetrate their hearts and mind and make them repent and drive safely for the rest of my life…

As I was reaching to my gearstick to start downshifting to catch up I suddenly came to this realization…How lame did I think my God is!
My heart is so divided, I am so weak & helpless to think I am ready to change the world when I can hardly commit to spending some quality time with God when I’m “in the mood” driven by a good song playing.

I realized that in order to get to a point where I can live up to His expectations I need to do much more than just listen to some good music! I started praying protection from being just another lame ad-hoc Christian that lives an illusion of living in passion. The idea scares me!
I pray for a consistant true rock-solid passion that truely can change the world.

Can’t Sleep

It’s still early on a Friday morning, been up since 4:15.. I just can’t sleep.. I’m sitting here listening to the heavy rain & KSBJ on the radio and thinking about the upcoming few days.

The words that’s been stuck in my head the past few days is LIVING IN PASSION…. What it takes, How do you get there, How to actually embrace that phase of life you’re at and make the most out of it…with no future regrets..

What do I want to do while I’m alive? I think, whatever it is; I want to do it passionately….I believe that passion is what drives strength…in and around us…

People talk about making a difference but unfortunately many have lives have been wasted. I believe God uses us in small ways and as we prove ourselves we are trusted for more…

“He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is
unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much” Luke 16:10

“You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things” Matthew 25:21

In whatever I’m doing, I do not want God to say this about me…

“I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap
before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one” Ezekiel 22:30

I want to be a man that stands in a gap for others…I believe thats how you make a difference..

Sun is breaking through the dark clouds & I have to go jump in the shower to get ready for work but I invite you to Live on a mission…mine is to To know Him and Make Him Known and let His dreams be a reality in my life.

-Ash